Photo by Kristian Seedorff on Unsplash

Recognizing that you’re beginning to forget things about the people you’ve lost, when you attempt to recall them, is terrifying.

Recognizing that you are only just beginning to remember how much you’ve forgotten about them, when you do recall something you haven’t thought about in years, is even more terrifying.

You wonder at what point in time the details and nuances of their personalities, their facial features, their speech, all began to slip away from you, while you were busy surviving.

During that survival mode in initial grief, we enter autopilot, our brains almost working to shut down anything that…

This Is Us

This is what I know

Person in a leather jacket standing in the street with colorful red smoke bomb obscuring face.
Person in a leather jacket standing in the street with colorful red smoke bomb obscuring face.
Photo: Georgi Fadejev/Getty Images

Today marks 17 years since I entered the grief world, which is really just the world, but another side of it, one that we come to find has been there all along yet is only revealed to us in the wake of a deep loss.

This is what I know.

It is a subject so intimate, precious, and unique, and yet it can be unspeakable even to ourselves. We shelve it away in our subconscious for another day — a day when we feel more prepared to deal with it, if that day ever comes.

It creates a space in…

A Q&A with Dr. Loree Johnson, Ph.D., LMFT

I recently had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Loree Johnson, Ph.D., LMFT about an important topic that is significantly under-discussed: Disenfranchised Grief.

Dr. Loree Johnson, Ph.D., LMFT

Dr. Johnson is an online therapeutic coach based in Los Angeles, who specializes in women’s mental health, reproductive health, and couples therapy, helping them heal from the trauma of infertility. She also offers women and couples individualized coaching support while undergoing fertility treatments to improve their chances of having successful outcomes.

Dr. Johnson was generous enough to share some of her wisdom on disenfranchised grief and its connection to…

Experiencing the ordinary as a motherless daughter

Everyone is familiar with the “fear of missing out” but only some will come to know early, the grief of missing out, or rather the missing out that is inextricably and inevitably tied to grief.

Walking through the world as a woman without your mother, simply put, feels wrong.

I will place a disclaimer of awareness here that what I am about to describe is something that women who are unable to have healthy relationships with their very alive mothers are afflicted with as well.

Images of mothers and daughters are all around us. The sayings, the stereotypes, the Mother’s…

Grief doesn’t end, it just shapeshifts

Photo: r. nial bradshaw/Flickr

I’ll start by saying that there is no one, correct, good way to tell people that your parents are dead.

The news (for them) usually tumbles out of my mouth unceremoniously in a jumble of words that attempt to soften the inevitable blow. I’ve lived 10 years as a parentless person. A daughter to no one. This is a fact I come face-to-face with every day.

It is a Wednesday. It is 51 degrees out. I have a dentist appointment. My parents are dead.

Yet, the delivery of this fact, the style of its sharing feels less concrete. The occasion…

Alex M.

Counseling Psychology EdM Candidate, writing on living authentically with loss and grief.

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